


Coma

by sasageyowrites



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, F/M, Reader-Insert, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27899752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasageyowrites/pseuds/sasageyowrites
Summary: After being critically injured when fighting the female Titan, Levi finds himself by his fiancé’s side after having spent a month in a coma. He tells her everything he couldn’t when she was with him.
Relationships: Levi/Reader
Kudos: 35





	Coma

**Author's Note:**

> Uploaded from my Tumblr sasageyowrites. I had writers block when writing this thats why its short

Disclaimer: I don’t own AoT I know blasphemy. I don’t own you either because I don’t think either of us would appreciate that. And since the original requester already included a GIF I might as well use that, thanks you saved me having to find one.

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, swearing, sexual references blah blah

Please don’t repost

Levi x reader

Levi walked through the quiet corridors of the infirmary wing, his boots tapping against the stone floors as he made his way to the critical care unit, his eyes narrowed as he tried to slow his pace down, desperately trying to calm his racing heart.

It had been a month ago that you had been knocked out by the female titan, your head having smashed into a tree so violently it was a surprise to everyone you were still alive. Levi could still remember holding you in his shaking arms as he rushed you through the infirmary not caring who fell over as he carried you to the nearest care ward yelling at anyone who would listen that you needed immediate care, blood had poured from your head wound and your clothes had been smeared in scarlet. As he looked around now he could still see stains on the walls of your blood from inproper cleaning. He would criticise it, but his mind wasn’t in the right place to pass judgement on the infirmary’s cleaning skills.

He was hoping, like everyday he came to see you, that it would be the day you finally recovered. But he knew deep down it was unlikely you would ever wake up, the trauma to your brain so severe the doctors were concerned you would suffer permanent memeroy failure. You were strong, probably the strongest woman he had ever met but even you had your limits and it scared him deeply to think he would never get to see you open your eyes again.

He had so much he wanted to tell you.

He clenched his fists as he walked into the room you were kept in, the curtains drawn around your bed to conceal your unconscious form from prying eyes. He didn’t want the whole world to see it like that, lying there utterly defenceless and broken. He wouldn’t allow it. He had a duty of care to you as your fiancé, even if it wasn’t by choice.

An arranged marriage.

Levi didn’t see himself as the marrying type, he had never wanted to settle down and be called anyone’s husband but he couldn’t get out of it. The marriage wasn’t really the important factor, it was what the government wanted from it: a baby. The government had figured that through some type of selective breeding that if they found a suitable match for him the child created would be one if the best soldiers the scouts could possibly offer, the offspring of humanities strongest and another skilled warrior would surely create a power so great that it could rival even Levi himself.

So he had been introduced to you. You were the best female member the military had to offer, your long succession of Survey Corps family members meant you had practically been groomed to be soldier. Your skill set was legendary and from a young age you had your own squad and rank, it was undeniable that you had been a perfect candidate to be the bearer of Levi’s child. To Levi though, he knew the government only saw you as some breeding instrument for his pleasure and succession. Nothing but a bitch to have his litter. They wanted you to have as many children with him as possible and create a small collection of brutal warriors. It was sick really, if the government had it their way, there would be no marriage at all and the baby making would happen right away, but the church wanted it legitimately arranged. He wouldn’t have agreed if it weren’t for the fact that his own life and yours were threatened with death.

At first you and him had not gotten along, you were too impulsive and outspoken for his taste and he was too bitter and shrewd for you. It had been agreed between the two of you that once the marriage had been consummated you wouldn’t talk to each other until the first baby was born. But as time went on he gradually began to warm up to you, he had caught you crying one night upset over what your life had become. Once you married you were going to have to retire to look after and give more children to him. You and Levi had spent the entire night talking about anything to take your mind off the future and over time had begun to find common ground and soon developed a friendship.

But now you were laying motionless in a ward bed and he couldn’t tell you how much he had come to appreciate you.

As he neared the bed where you slept he pulled back the curtains, he felt his heart grow heavy when he saw your eyes were still closed, your chest falling and rising as you peacefully slept. Your hair was beautifully fanned around your pillows, a bandage wrapped tightly over your left eye and around your head to protect the wound at the back. Your body had lost quite a bit of weight, you hadn’t much to lose to begin with so it was dangerous for you to lose anymore, your skin a shade or two paler, your lips parted as you kept breathing in and out. You looked to be dead and Levi felt a snake of anxiety twist in his gut, but he pushed it aside.

The captain sat himself down in the wooden chair that was by your bedside where he usually sat, he crossed his legs running a hand through his ebony hair the strands falling into his steely eyes as he watched you. He had to admit you looked so peaceful he didn’t want you to wake up to the hellish world. To leave you in dreamland where the nightmares that walked the earth couldn’t get you, it almost looked to surreal how still you lay. Levi would be a fool if he said he hadn’t fallen in love with you, of course he was too adamant to realise it at first. It wasn’t until he had seen you collide with the tree and not wake up that he realised how deep his emotions ran for you. The fear had been agony and he prayed no one else had to feel what he had when he heard your skull crack against the rough bark of the tree.

Why hadn’t he told you before? Well had he known about his feelings for you he knew he would have been terrified of your rejection, he could invision you letting him down gently saying that you wouldn’t look at him twice if it weren’t for your unusual situation. He didn’t think he could take being rejected, he had never expected anything good from the world so why would he expect you to return his confessions. No. He was safe from heart ache if he didn’t say anything at all. But as he continued to stare at you he felt his heart palpitations intensify, you really where the most extraordinary person he had ever met and despite his earlier opinions on you he knew he would marry you with no conditions had he been allowed to by his own accord.

He groaned running a hand over his sharp face as he struggled to keep his thoughts at bay. His entire squad had been killed and his fiancé was in a possibly deadly coma. He didn’t know who he could go to, the world was unfair he had known that for the longest time but this was just beyond bad luck.

He was cursed he was sure if it.

Still. There was nothing to stop him from talking to you. You were in a coma not dead so it wouldn’t be out of the question, you had always listened to what he had to say when your kinship had begun to develop. Fuck. He was already missing your laughter, the longing for your touch was burning inside him like an uncontrollable wild fire. He needed you to be ok. He failed to protect you the way he had sworn to when he first realised you had become his friend. But if you weren’t going to wake up he would regret not telling you everything in his mind and heart, he may not have long left to sit beside you like he was now. Any second you could slip away and he wouldn’t have told you how he really felt.

He would never have that piece of mind.

He pulled the curtains away to momentarily peak outside and make sure no one else was walking past your room, he didn’t want the whole world to hear his inner most deep confessions. Once he was sure he was alone he turned his gaze back to you, he hesitated briefly unsure of how to begin.

It didn’t matter if he screwed up. It wasn’t like you could laugh at him in your usual taunting manner. A smirk slid across his face as he recalled your sarcastic streak. How he longed to have you jeer at him again. To call him short stop or to gently tease his ever unsmiling face, he would give anything.

“I suppose there isn’t much I can say to you.” he said leaning back into the chair slinging an arm over the back of it casually as he stared, his gaze wandering over your scarily thin body “you would probably just call me an idiot or something and I wouldn’t blame you but I need to get something off my chest.”

He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. This was stupid. This was unlike him and he hated it, what would it matter if he spilled his confessions to you? You couldn’t respond and he didn’t know if he was comfortable talking to you about this without your conscience present. But you weren’t in his head, you were under his skin and in his blood every thought he had was about you and he hated how he felt. He had not shown any romantic feelings for you when you had lain by his side at night wrapped in his arms as you tried to grow comfortable to his touch, he had not done anything to show how much he truly cared. There was no choice. He had to confess.

“The truth is I don’t know exactly what I need to say. It’s not like you’re going to hear me and it’s not like it’ll make a difference but I need to apologise. I know I’m not anyone’s ideal match, I’m cold and distant I don’t know how to love someone the way they deserve especially you. You deserve someone better then me and I knew it all along.” he swallowed trying to keep his throat from closing up from the utter pain he felt, his turned glassy as he looked down at his lap “you had every right to not feel the same way. I’ve been trying not to think about it but I can’t help it, it kills me inside to think you could die without ever hearing me tell you how much I care for you. I don’t know how to turn off the way I feel and that scares me. I know I gave you shit when I met you but I didn’t…I didn’t know what to think.

“I saw you and fuck, I was so unworthy of your time. I hated you brat. I hated the sight of you, you made me so unsure of how I would live the rest of my life. I was so busy trying to find reasons to hate you I didn’t realise I was falling in love with you. You were just as torn as I was, I gave you so much shit and I forgot that you were in the exact same position as me. I’m sorry I couldn’t have been better to you.”

He squeezed his eyes shut his memories flooding back to when he had met you. You had been scared he could tell, but you had tried to make an effort and he had shot you down. No wonder you hadn’t gotten along before, you were still so young and in the peak of your career, you must have seen him as much of a tourment to your life as he had seen you. His eyes glanced down to the ring on your finger, a simple gold band with a Survey Corps crest on it, it meant you were his to have and he hadn’t wanted you. Now he only wanted you to wake up and be by his side safe in his arms.

He could remember finding you crying in the corridor the second night he of the engagement, he recalled spending the whole night just softly talking about how fucked up everything was. You had made him laugh, you had made him appreciate little things he never would have before. He had considered you a friend after only a week quicker then he had ever made a friend before. You just for so well into his heart, it was as if you had been apart of him missing from birth.

The late evenings spent doing paperwork together in silence just enjoying thenktjers company or him watching you train, laughing to himself as you tried new stunts and failed which causes him to end up giving you pointers on how to improve letting his hands slide up and down your body as he showed you how to correctly execute a move which had led to your first kiss, the closeness in proximity seeming to release an desire in the both of you. He could still feel your lips against his as you ran your fingers through his hair, his own hands holding you closer to him threatening to never let go.

You had made his days bearable, you had helped him in so many ways and now you were on the verge of death and he could do nothing to save you, he had never felt so useless.

“I know I made fun of you a lot. I don’t think there was a day where I didn’t criticise you brat. But I would give anything to be able to do it again, to have you fuck something up and let me berate you for it. I loved our arguments, they were…enjoyable. Arguing with you is something I want to do for the rest of my life. I don’t know what else to tell you. I think…” he trailed off his eyes watering further as he looked up to stare at your angelic face, hesitantly he reached up to take your hand in his your hand was still warm and it reassured him you hadn’t slipped between his fingers. He gently raised your hand to his lips pressing a gentle kiss to the smooth skin, he felt something slide down his face and he reached a hand up to his catch the tear quickly wiping it away “I think I’ve fallen for you and I don’t want to let that go.”

Your silence crawled up his skin. He must have looked so pathetic but he didn’t know what else to do, he was so lost. He knew the government would pair him someone else, they were only after one thing but he didn’t want anyone else. You were perfect. A fallen angel who he had pulled from the heavens and neglected, your wings bloodied with his own ignorance to his feelings for you, never to fly again.

“It’s my fault you’re here. If I had been faster I could have saved you, I could have done something to prevent this…I was too weak to save you.” his face scrunched up as he tried to stop the flow of tears, his teeth gritting as his body shook with suppressed sobs his blood curling with pent up helplessness. Isabel, Farlan. Squad Levi, their empty eyes staring at him as he could only witness their deaths, his family once again torn in half. His whole life he had let every person he ever cared for down and you were soon to be on that list. He peeled his eyes open his vision blurring with tears, his pupils quivering as his mind plagued with him with his own doubts “you have no idea how much you scared me. One minute you were by my side the next that devil had you flying into the damn tree. It happened again. The same pain when I saw my brother and sister die, I couldn’t avenge you though. She escaped and I let her. I saw you covered in your own blood and the world fell away. I couldn’t breath, you did that to me. I can’t forgive you for that, if you don’t wake up how can I possibly forgive you?”

His eyebrow twitched at your further silence. Rage pierced him and he stood up so sharply his chair was sent flying backwards, the wood splintered again the floor bits of wood flying in all directions as he stood up his eyea narrowed in a glare.

“Wake up dammit!” he yelled slamming a fist into the beside table, you didn’t flinch or show any signs of being able to hear him. Levi stood trembling more tears spilling from his eyes as he could only watch you in front of him his hair falling into his eyes as his chest heaved from the outburst. He gradually recomposed himself standing to his full height pressing a and to his forehead as more tears ran down his face his legs giving way causing him to fall into the bed, sat by your side as he silently wept. He sat up glancing to look at you again, his tears gently falling into the white blankets that you were nestled in, just watching you seemed to calm him down his heart softly drumming in his chest as he listened to his own breathing.

“I enjoyed every moment with you. You’ve done something to me and I don’t think I’ll ever be ok. I never told you that the way you laugh makes me forget who I am sometimes, your arrogance amuses me and you just make existence easier.” he inhaled deeply letting the last few tears fall from his blurred eyes, he smiled softly at the sight of you leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead, his lips hovering over your forehead gently brushing the skin as he softly placed his lips onto you.

“Please.” he begged another tear falling from his face onto your own “please don’t leave me.”

Gently pulling away he remained leaning over you, your hand in his as he held it to his chest where his heart was, his thumb gently rubbing back and forth over the back of your own hand clutches in his. Cautiously he raised his other hand to your cheek placing it on your cool skin softly stroking the hairs falling in your face away behind your ear, he repeated the motion your freshly cleaned hair soft beneath his fingers. His nose centimetres from your neck as he remained with your hand in his by his heart the other one stroking your hair back. He didn’t know how long he remained like that, just sitting beside you holding you like you were the most precious thing in his world.

He didn’t stop talking to you, professing over and over again how much he loved you. You heard every word he said, his voice echoing in your head even as your life slipped away, never to open your eyes again and tell him you loved him too.

Levi stayed with you long after you had passed, your hand still clutched to his heart.


End file.
